• emilysophie

When you see green...

What to do when the green eyed monster called envy shows up...

Now this is something I'm sure we can all relate to, am I right?

Take a moment and think back to when you last felt envious of someone.

Perhaps it didn't take you very long to do that...perhaps it did.

Either way, we've all seen with green eyes before and it can cause us unnecessary stress and sadness, when really there is actually a positive side to the green eyed monster.

Let's say you're scrolling on Instagram and you come across another dancer who is 'living their best life' dancing from show to show, with amazing professional photos left, right and centre and the most flawless, impeccably beautiful skin you've ever laid your (green) eyes on.

What started as an innocent scroll to pass the time, has now ended up with you questioning your entire life, feeling down on yourself and in a complete huff because so and so has it so much better than you etc etc...

But let's look a little closer at this situation for a minute.

It's so easy to allow ourselves to fall down the rabbit hole of envy and comparison and allow our brain to go there so we feel down in the dumps afterwards. But firstly, we must always remember that this person didn't do this to us-WE allowed ourselves to feel this way.

It's always a choice, whether we think that's true or not.

So again, let's go a little bit deeper again.

When you started to feel the green monster bubbling up inside you-what was it about this person that brought on those feelings?

It's all very well feeling rubbish and acknowledging that we are envious of someone, but without actually diving a little deeper, we can't do anything about it to get ourselves out of the grump and into a more positive state where we can actually take some action to move forwards.

For example, let's say that you have been auditioning for a while for cruise ship jobs but you're heart is really in the West End, so you see this person performing in a show on the West End and it hits a nerve inside because... IT MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU.

And instead of analysing WHY, you just immediately fall into despair over this fact, you just allow yourself to be envious but no positive action is then taken, leaving you in this negative state and more than likely, unmotivated to do anything about it.

But when we look a little bit closer, we can see that actually, the reason you are envious of this person in this situation, is because THIS is what you are really craving. THIS is your dream. This envy, is actually highlighting what is important to you right now.

So instead of being a negative thing or feeling down and out that they are living a great life and have what you want...use this feeling to allow it to show you what you most want, then check in with yourself and take some action steps towards achieving it for yourself.

There are a few questions to ask yourself when you feel a little green around the eyeballs and those are the following:

1. Are you being grateful for what YOU have right now?

2. Are you letting fear stop you from going after what you want?

3. Are you even clear about what you want? (Although envy can show us what we want, it can also just show us that generally we want more happiness/success/freedom-or any other positive emotion that we see others experiencing)

4. Are you taking positive action steps towards what you want?

It's important to ask ourselves these questions, because it's too easy to just let our brain take over and choose the easy option of going to that negative place where we allow ourselves to become the victim and therefore, give our brain permission to stay exactly where we are because 'life is hard and it's not our fault and did I mention, life is hard'.

But seriously, try flipping this envy monster on its head and see it as another reminder to take a breath and ask yourself what it's really showing you.

When we fill our own lives with good stuff and fill up our cup of self love, we tend to see other's successes in a different way then. We feel happy for them or more than likely, we're too busy living our own best lives to even notice!

So as they say 'you do you' and focus on how to fill up your own cup first, rather than staring into other people's lives longingly, wishing you had what they had.

Because on the flip side of that, we all have a little bit of drama/poop/negative stuff happening that we don't often share or allow others to see (especially on social media) so it's also good to remember that fact when you're life gazing :)

Reminder: your eyes are beautiful just the way they are (even if they are green already).

Emily Sophie

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